Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
