"it" just moved
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
