I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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