even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
