you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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