jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
