im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
