Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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