first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
