One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You are the jesus of drinking
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
