I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
