I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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