What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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