we're chasing vodka with high fives
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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