I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
