its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
