is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
