Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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