It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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