I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
