If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
