Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
