My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
