Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Vodka?
Forever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
