Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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