I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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