i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize