I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
