drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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