I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
