Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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