when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
