You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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