Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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