Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
