I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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