oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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