matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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