So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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