i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This is my life. Enjoy the view
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
