sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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