My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
