he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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