Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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