I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
