there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This house was built for laser tag.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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