Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
