I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize