Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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