You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
