Buhtt sex?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
