I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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