There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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