i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
