i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
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True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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