Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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