Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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